Tiki Oasis 2014 Episode 1 : Attack of the Clone

Every year I write about how I always feel like no matter how much fun I have at Tiki Oasis –that I missed out on something. I talked about how I needed to Clone myself so that I could be everywhere at once. Then my clones could come back at the end of the trip and I could download their memories and basically turn my 3 days at Tiki Oasis into a week and a half of fun and great memories. Tiki Oasis always goes by way too quickly. You spend months anticipating it and get Tiki on the brain the week before it happens---then like a Rum dream it is over. So my Clone idea seemed like the best solution. 5 Clones should cover it… But Cloning is not a cheap endeavor. I saved up enough money and bribed the right folks. I created 1 Clone a few months before Tiki Oasis and unfortunately he escaped the lab –before all the programming could be completed.


Well I really miscalculated with this concept. The theory was that my Clone would go and see the room crawls and parties that I wasn’t in and I could download his memories at the end of the weekend. Well, since the programming never took place and he escaped into the world to live on his own my plan could never be set in motion. I had all but forgotten about my Clone until he showed up standing right next to me in the Swank Bastards room. Wearing the same clothes as me and holding the same drink cup as me. My Clone had aged, but was in better shape than me (maybe it he has a quicker metabolism along with the rapid aging). He was even wearing the same kind of shoes (although they were a different color). I wanted to ask him what he had been up to since he had escaped the lab. How he had ended up at Tiki Oasis? (since he had escaped so soon after being Cloned) But the loud pounding sounds of Thee Swank Bastards drowned out any attempts at a conversation. Someone took a picture of us and then I turned for a second and he was gone……Was it just some Rum induced dream? It couldn’t be… I had photographic evidence of the encounter.

Lessons learned from my Cloning experiment:

 1.      Make sure to use a Cloning lab with plenty of security so your Clone doesn’t escape without the         proper programming.

 2. A Clone without programming will still have the same great taste in clothing and drink ware….Clearly this Clone has good taste….Apparently great minds think as one.

3. The plan to have my Clones visit places I didn’t go would really backfired…. My Clones good taste also included his taste in music otherwise he wouldn’t have ended up in the exact same room party as me at the exact same time.

 4. A Clone should be implanted with a tracking device……I may never see my Clone again and I will just wonder like every other year ------what experiences he may have had and think again about all the stuff I missed out on.

Up next:  Tiki Oasis 2014: An Unexpected journey to Hell and Back Again

 Followed by : Tiki Oasis 2014: Wraith of the Rum or Revenge of the Fireball