Thursday, August 14, 2014

"Release the Kracken" Tiki Oasis Poem

"Release the Kracken"

It is late at night and at your request
A Burlesque girl is flashing her breasts
While a guy dressed like a gorilla is pounding on his chest
This is the time when Tiki Oasis is at its best

The surf band is playing
No one knows what is going to happen
Then someone yells out
"Release the Kracken"

The Rum drinks are flowing
There is a Mermaid in the pool
Breathing Fire next to some drunken fool
The whole place is shaking
This party is definitely not lackin
A crowd of people screams out
"Release the Kracken"

There is a Guy dressed like Captain Morgan
Posing like a good Captain should
His Coconut Rum is the best
I mean it is really, really good
But when you really want the party to get Crackalackin
You need to yell out
"Release the Kracken"

And Release it they did
It came out of the pool
Grabbing the mermaid in its tentacles
Setting fire to the drunken fool

It climbed up the side of every pool view room
Sending People jumping off balconies to their doom.
Rampaging its way all over the hotel
Sending drunken guests running out of Tiki Hell
It grabbed up every single Burlesque girl
Shaking them around in a big whirl
As It crawled up the elevator faster and faster
Making its way towards Thee Swank Bastards

So beware and take heed!
When drinking your rum
I know everybody wants to have a little fun

So late at night when Bears roam the halls
And you start to hear Fireball induced strange and Frightening calls
You may want to lock your doors
Before you “Release the Kracken”
Because believe it or not it may actually happen

BAC 8/11/14 AKA “The Pineappleman”

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Tiki Oasis Countdown: Almost There :

And Back and This Year----The Lounge Singer styling of the Lampshades

Monday, August 11, 2014

Tiki Oasis Countdown: Days away : Here are Rules to buying a Tiki Necklace at Tiki Oasis

Rules to buying a Tiki Necklace at Tiki Oasis:

Rule number 1: Make sure that Tiki Necklace is not cursed. Seriously a cursed Tiki necklace no matter how cool it looks is not worth all the giant spiders or near death surfing crashes.

The following video will demonstrate the dangers of buying a cursed necklace.

Rule Number 2: Once you have determined that the Tiki necklace you are buying is not cursed

(I can’t stress that enough) Select something that represents you. Find a tiki necklace that demonstrates your true inner tiki.

Rule Number 3: Sprinkle a vile of special volcanic ash collected from the highest peaks in Hawaii over the necklace. This will make sure to rinse away any possible residuals of a curse. This rule is in case you didn’t do your homework and bought a cursed Tiki by mistake.

Rule Number 4: Try and not get it wet, or expose it to any loud surf or exotica music and definitely avoid people dancing around in Hawaiian shirts while holding rum drinks-----that would be very bad and would probably bring out a curse if one was hidden inside the Tiki necklace.